Manna

Daniel just got back from India. Because he is a structural engineer, and they are building things in India. These trips are never easy on either of us, but this one seemed particularly hard. Hard on him because he was physically exhausted, discouraged, under a lot of pressure, isolated from family. Hard on me because I was dealing with an antibiotic-resistant sinus infection, fatigue, headaches, a cat with a broken leg, sewage overflowing into the basement, two teething and sleepless children, and missing my best friend and favorite companion. We were downright weary.

When Daniel got home, I told him that so often it seemed like I had just enough to make it through, that I was just barely on the edge of my sanity. And then I thought that so often this is how God works. In Exodus, when the Israelites were wandering, he gave them manna to eat, their daily provision. They were forced to trust God daily for their needs. Psalms speaks of God daily bearing us up. Lamentations tells us that his mercies are new every morning. In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus asks for daily bread. Each day, new provision, new mercies, new strength, new grace.

Looking back on Daniel's trip, I see how he provided these things for me--strength to stand and rock the baby at 2 am, friends to help with dinner and kids and rest, people who prayed for us and sent messages of encouragement. He poured out the grace I needed when I was anxious, sad, and lonely. He set my hope in Him every day, reminding me that He is my ultimate need.

Even now that Daniel is back, I am constantly aware of that need. I feel as though I can barely catch my breath. Life is heavy. I feel inadequate all the time. In all this, I know that He is the only reason I'm still standing. Being in need is not fun, and I kick against it. But he provides daily. He is always faithful.