This is How We Do It: Quiet Time

Rest is vital to our spiritual, emotional, and physical health, but It can be hard to know how to do it in this stage of life. Because of this, it is important to encourage each other in it. Toward that end, my friends Lori and Ashley are hosting a link-up today (which you can find here and here).

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All mothers know that there is not really a time that belongs solely to us. We steal moments when we can, even get out for coffee from time to time. But we are always on call. And particularly in the little years, our children need us constantly.

I love being with my kids. As a stay-at-home mom, I get to be with them almost all the time. I love reading with them, building Legos with them, hearing the funny things they say. I love talking about life and faith with them and watching them discover the world. This time is a gift. They are a gift.

But they are still almost always with me. And that is hard.

I am summoned out of bed at early-o'clock after spending half the night on the floor of my toddler's room. I make breakfast, oversee chores, and read aloud. I make smoothies and grilled cheese, and fill sippy cups with milk. I lay toddlers down for rest and teach the older ones to read and spell and add. I have some tea and try not to fall asleep.

There are no lulls in my day.

Eventually, I would like to get up early. I hope to, but in this stage, I just can't. I badly need the sleep.

So I sneak time. I hide in the bathroom in morning and read the Psalms, rock the baby at nap time and read the epistles. I highlight, re-copy, and try to meditate. I write verses on a dry-erase board to be smudged by little fingers. I whisper breath prayers and beg for help when my strength is spent and I am anxious and I want to quit.

I don't know if this enough. My soul is thirsty and I am weary.

I don't know if this is enough, but I know this: the Lord is with me.

I know that his word is living and active, and wherever I encounter it, it encourages and strengthens me. He meets me in the bathroom, the rocking chair, in my devotional time with my kids, or in a well-timed text from a friend.

I know that he hasn't hit "pause" on my spiritual growth just because I'm busy doing the work he gave me to do.

I know that he cares for me, giving me soul rest when physical rest is hard to come by.

I know that he loves me, and he never lets go of me.

And when my children need me constantly, I remember that I am His child too, and He will give me what I need.

Respite.

Have you ever been swimming or running or hiking and gotten so caught up in the activity that you didn't realize how tired you were? Often I find that in these types of activities, it's not until I come in and sit down that the exhaustion really hits.

These past few weeks have been a sprint. Daniel had a deadline (which means he was working a lot more hours than normal), our kids got the stomach flu (again), I started teaching a unit study at Ava's enrichment program, and then there's just the normal, everyday care, feeding, and educating of four kids. I was getting anxious, and my temper was growing short. I don't think I realized how desperately I needed a break.

And then my in-laws offered to take the older two kids for the week. Last Saturday, Daniel took all four kids (bless him) and met his parents in Springfield. I had a full day to myself.

I had planned to accomplish my entire to-do list that day (when will I have another day in my house without interruption?!), but I sat down to have some breakfast and read for a bit almost fell asleep in my eggs. I heeded a good friend's advice and took a long nap.

Daniel returned that night with the two little ones, and I spent the week with just them. I am feeling refreshed.

This week, I cuddled and read with my three year old. I tried (and failed) to teach my toddler to go to sleep by herself. I took some naps. I had a quiet time that didn't take place in a toddler's bedroom or in the bathroom. I defrosted our fridge and sorted through the mounds of baby clothes. I was by myself a little. I needed that.

This week felt like a week of jubilee (is that a thing?). I thought about sabbath and about the rest that Jesus gives to his weary sheep (even when sleep is still, shall we say, less than optimal). I remembered that my identity is not in my doing, but what has been done for me. This week, the Lord restored me. I am thankful.