Published

Because Daniel wouldn't tell you, and because I'm proud of him, I will tell you that he's published.

Discovery

I like green tea. Caffeine is a good thing.

Weary Soul.

Please forgive my failure to post to the blog. I have been busy, but that's only part of the reason that I haven't been posting. Mostly, I have been overwhelmed, and the busyness has prevented me from being able to process most of it. It feels like God put all the pieces of my life in a blender and push pulse. Or maybe puree.

The first of the major changes is that Daniel and I have decided that we are moving to Chicago this summer. We've been in the process of making that decision for a good number of months and have been dwelling in a state of limbo. That has made this move a little hard to talk about--we didn't know very much for a long time, and wanted to make decision before sharing too much. Since we made the decision, I've had a hard time conveying to everyone that we love how I feel about it. Completely at peace, and yet there is a sadness there.

I haven't known how to tell people at our church that we will miss them dearly. We will miss hanging out and serving alongside them and having deep discussions over coffee and letting our kids play together. They have been a blessing to us, and it hurts to leave.

I haven't known how to tell our family that we would really love to have them even closer to us than Chicago, but that we know that this decision is the right one. We would love to let cousins play and grandparents spoil and we hope they still can.

I haven't known how to explain how it feels to be moving to a place where I don't know anyone. Not a soul. It's scary. I know that God will provide, but if this season has taught me anything, it is that I need people. Community is important.

I haven't known how to explain that in spite of all of this, it is right. It is time. This is an amazing opportunity for Daniel. I'm so grateful that God has gifted him as he has, and that God has provided this job in the midst of an economic crisis. He has so many gifts, and this job will put them to good use and give him a chance to learn and be challenged even more than he is now. And Chicago is just a cool town. I'm looking forward to taking my kids to the Bean, to museums, and to concerts. The city has so much to offer, and I'm looking forward to the adventure.

So that's a major thing. And as we have made this major decision, we have closed on the condo we agreed to buy almost a year and half ago and moved in. For many reasons, the chief one being we have a very curious 10 month old daughter, this move was a hard one. Though we were excited to own our first place together and live in a building Daniel designed, it meant moving away from Kailua and away from our church family there. But we did it, and I was surprised to find how much I really liked our cozy little place. We're proud to own it. We worked hard to get here. A few weeks after the move, as things were just starting to get settled, I told Daniel, "I really like this little place."

The next day, Daniel came home and told me he had good news and bad. The good news was that 1 bedroom units in our building were selling like hotcakes. The bad news was that we probably needed to put it on the market soon, which might mean another move before the Big One. I was devastated, but by the end of the weekend, we had agreed to list our place. It went on the market last Monday.

On Monday, I got a phone call asking to show it. On Tuesday, we received an offer. On Wednesday, we accepted it. The buyers are investors, and they seemed to be receptive to the idea of a lease back. We are praying we don't have to move again.

On top of all that, Daniel is involved in lawsuit that is happening at work regarding a project he worked on. So far, they are not named in the lawsuit, but the contractor is pointing the finger.

On top of all that, I still have my Algebra 2 class, a missions class I'm taking, junior high ministry, mentoring for Common Grace, and planning meetings for the mission trip I am taking in May.

We have a lot going on.

Of course, none of this is tragic, but the cumulative effect has been somewhat overwhelming. Thing is, I have no doubt it is for my good. These past ten months have been some of the most intense of my life. I have at times felt weak, frustrated, alone, and overwhelmed. But God has used this time to challenge me--to make me teachable, trusting, and dependent upon his grace. Even though I feel a little lost in the madness, I feel found by my Savior. He has taught me so much.

I am learning that I need His daily provision, that dependence is a good thing, that prayer is vital. I am learning to love Jesus. I am learning that knowing Him is more than knowing about Him. I am learning that community is important and the gospel is central. I am learning that missions is about the glory of God, and that I need to be about God's kingdom. I am learning that God's grace is rich when I don't get it. I am learning that God comforts a weary soul.

So, we have a lot going on. But through it, God has brought us to a deeper place. A better place.

Wrong Bus

One downside of living on the Leeward side of Oahu: the buses are a bit more crowded. Something like this:
This past Friday, I was on an especially crowded bus. I observed that even after the bus had filled to twice its legal capacity, it occurred to not one of the three dozen people waiting to board that "Hey, this might not be the last bus out of Vietnam." So they all filed on, with the bus driver asking those in the back to move to the roof. Getting off at my stop required a strategy similar to that used by clowns in small cars.

But the worst part was realizing later that evening that I had driven the car to work that morning.

Briefs

Sorry for the long period of silence. As most of you know, we just finished moving across the island. We are just starting to feel settled here. Thanks for your patience.

So, here are some Ava updates. She is doing so many new things. She just turned 10 months old, and she amazes me with how quickly she learns. She is currently:

• Giving high fives. Seriously.
• Climbing off the bed feet first mostly by herself. I am, of course, there to make sure she doesn't fall backwards, but other than that, she's good.
• Clapping.
  
• Feeding herself much more confidently. She eats lots of new foods, like Baby MumMum, grapes, pears, corn, and beans.
  
• Cruising along the tables and the futon.
• Climbing up in my lap. I love this. She's not a snuggler--she can't sit still that long. But she loves to stand on my legs and let me hold her. It makes me feel like a million bucks.
  

Miss her? Maybe you should come see her. :)

Observation

Solid Food = Solid Poop. The End.

My Nose

It doesn't breathe
It doesn't smell
It doesn't feel
So very well

I am discouraged
With my nose.
The only thing it does
is blows.

Just a Closer Walk with Thee

This article from John Thomas very much describes my heart right now. I've been trying to get it into words for months and months, and he said it perfectly. I'm getting to know Jesus. Not by learning everything about him, but by seeking his face in Scripture and in prayer. I'm learning not just to love the idea of him but just to love him--who he is. I'm learning not just to seek knowledge of him as an end unto itself, but as a way to love him more. And it has restored my soul.

First Class or Coach?

Courtesy of pilot Tim Nations: If you have ever wondered whether it is better (or worth the extra dollars) to fly first class rather than economy, this photo might answer your question.

Snapshots at Nine Months

It's hard to believe that we are into the home stretch of the first year. Ava turned nine months old last Saturday. It's hard to believe that she's been with us that long, but also hard to believe that we ever lived without her. She's gotten so much easier, and is doing so many new things. A sampling:

***

Morning is our favorite time together. Perhaps I'm projecting. Morning is my favorite with Ava. I usually go and get her, bring her into bed with me, and nurse her. It is the only time of day she will lie still. After she's done eating, she crawls all over me, and rests her head on my chest or on the pillow next to me. I think most people feed their babies solids first thing in the morning, but I'm just not willing to give up that special time.

***

For the rest of the day, of course, Ava is on the go. She gets into everything now. Toys only amuse her for so long. Mostly, she likes exploring. Her current favorite places to get into mischief are the recycle bin, the pile of shoes by the door, and the guitar. She also enjoys yanking at any electrical cord she can find.

***

She is, for whatever reason, oddly interested in my mouth. If I'm holding her on my hip, she quite often will have her hand stretched above her head, fingers cupped around my bottom teeth. Even more fascinating for her is if I have something in my mouth. When I chew on ice cubes, she loves to stick her little fingers in my mouth and push them around. And the other day, while I was eating some Tostitos, she stood up and tried to pry her way into my mouth, all the while screaming at me. It was like she was a little baby bird, wanting me to feed her my chewed up food. She was pretty upset with me. I couldn't help but laugh.

***

She is starting to eat finger foods, but she hasn't quite gotten the hang of it yet. I bought her some Gerber puffs. She seems to know what they're for, but she hasn't figured out quite how to chew them yet. Mostly we end up with soggy puffs stuck to her outstretched tongue or her upper lip.

***

She has two teeth now, and has bitten me on several occasions, drawing blood once. When I fussed at her, she looked up me with this awful non-expression. It was the kind of expression you would see on the face of a class bully two seconds after he kicked somebody in the shin. "Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it?"

***

Just today she started shaking her head no. I guess doesn't look so much like she is saying no, just that she is fascinated that she can make her head do such a thing.

***

One of Daniel's favorite things to do with Ava is to bounce her up and down on the bed. She giggles and squeals. Today, accidentally bounced her, and she was so excited, I kept going. When I stopped (it actually takes a substantial amount of strength to bounce her up and down), she stood up on her knees and bounced herself up and down. "Keep going, Mom! That's fun!"

***

The potty thing is going pretty well. She pretty much tinkles anytime I put her on the potty, and she is doing pretty well with pooping on the potty too. She went twice today, and I cheered her on. She loves praise. Her little face lights up as soon as she goes, because she knows she's done a good thing and mommy will cheer for her. We have such a good baby.

***

That's all for now, folks. Stay tuned. I'll try to get some videos up soon.