Saturday, April 14, 2012

Intercepted Battle Plan. Operation: Total Chaos

--Breakfast: Turn cereal bowl upside down. Throw on the floor.

--Feign interest in basket of toys. Dump whole basket. Walk away.

--Run around the house carrying a graham cracker, spreading crumbs as you go.

--Take diaper off brother. Sit him on potty with poopy bottom.

--Peel all papers off crayons. Break in half. Tear covers off coloring books. Spread papers all over the floor. Color on walls.

--Sneak upstairs. Pull every dress you own out of closet. Break several hangers in the process.

--Costume change!

--Pull covers and sheets off mommy's bed.

--Try on all mommy's shoes.

--Pull clean sheets and towels out of linen closet. Strew them about the upstairs.

--Dump laundry basket full of clean folded clothes.

--Open bin of hand-me-downs. Pull out clothes and shoes in search of the craziest outfit possible.

--Costume Change!

--Lunch: Throw bowl of spaghettios on the floor.

--Move the couch to the center of the living room. Pull cushions off.

--Pull DVDs out of the cabinet. Remove as many from cases as possible.

--Potty time: Take all clothes off. Throw on floor. Splash water while washing hands. Soak clothing. Unroll entire toilet paper roll.

--Costume change!

--Squeeze toddler toothpaste on counter. Lick clean.

--Pull all the books out of the cabinet. Hide in said cabinet.

--Dump Legos. Walk away nonchalantly.

--Costume change!

--Pull the butter out of the refrigerator. Attempt to butter own bread.

--Scream and demand to be held during dinner prep. Squeeze between mom and stove and pants her while she cooks.

--Potty time: Use potty. Do not flush. Attempt to clean potty with toilet brush. Splash about the bathroom.

--Pull out all dish towels. Spread across floor.

--Dinner. Use fingers to eat spaghetti. Spread through hair. Throw bowl on floor.

--Bathtime: Open baby wash. Submerge.

--Lap the house while Mom chases you with pjs.

--Dump out remainder of toys. Walk away.

--Smile irresistibly, giggle, and say "I love you, Mom." She'll still think it's worth it.

2 comments:

Nanna and Poppy said...

Aw honey, what can I say. You will look back on their antics with tears of laughter. Enjoy them.

Jill said...

I know, Mom. In truth, I'm already laughing. Life would be pretty boring without them. :)