The chaotic nature of my brain exacerbates the chaotic nature of this season. I'm just not good at this. There are too many moving parts. I was absent minded before children, but since becoming a mother, trying to maintain some sense of order is impossible. I'm going to lose my mind.
And in those quieter moments, I am pensive. I fear what other people think about me. I worry, over-think, wonder if I'm beyond grace. I am high maintenance.
But when I'm exasperating, he doesn't yell. He doesn't get angry. He is patient and gracious and wonderful. He chooses to chuckle. Not a condescending kind of chuckle. More like an "I love this woman even though she's crazy" kind of chuckle. He delights in me and tells me that I'm beautiful. When I'm having another "dark night of the soul," he patiently reminds me that God loves me not because I get everything done (I don't), not because my kids behave (they don't), not because I earn it (I can't), but because of Jesus. He cherishes me in my imperfection. His love reminds me of how Jesus loves me. It helps me believe that Jesus loves me.
I love him. And I love the God that gave him to me.
2 comments:
God bless you, Daniel Popp. You see in her what we have always seen - an inner and outer beauty. You are blessed to have each other.
Hazel
love all these posts jill, thank you. and by the way - at the EXACT moment I was reading your first paragraph, JD asked me why I threw away the can opener? ... you're not alone.
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