I'm not cool

I'm not. I got called a nerd a lot in school. I never got invited to a single party in high school or college (God's grace, I believe). I was always kind of a goodie-two-shoes, teacher's pet, make-everyone-happy kind of girl.

And now: no body piercings, no tattoos. I still wear boot cut jeans and t-shirts most of the time. I don't play a musical instrument, and I'm not particularly creative. I don't listen to indie music (unless someone points me to something good), and I kinda don't like my Mac. I stutter when I'm nervous and am pretty shy by nature. I'm a stay at home mom. I drive a minivan (and I like it, which I believe seals the deal). I'm most definitely not a hipster.

I go to a church full of really cool people. Scores of (really good) musicians, an artist, photographers, graphic designers, a pro-football player, a counselor, and at least two people employed by Apple. They wear skinny jeans and black glasses and have fohawks and facial hair. They are spontaneously funny and sound pretty natural when they say things like, "that's how I roll." All of them cooler than me.

But you know what I love about our church? It doesn't matter. I believe it is the first time in my life when I haven't felt excluded because I'm a dork. I fit in. You know why? Because I love Jesus, and I love the gospel. It's changed my life. We have that in common. They let me be a part of a weird team. It's beautiful.

Paul describes the church as a body. We don't function well if we are all eyes and no ears, all hands and no feet. We are designed to be different, to complement each other, and to be used by the Spirit in different ways. If we follow his metaphor, I'm probably the nose that's a little stuffed up. I'm so grateful that though I may be "less presentable" (or at least less cool), I'm still invited into community with those who are more so.

"Ava with the Crazy Hair!"

Slide + Static Electricity + Red Curly Hair =

Five Months

How is it even possible that you are five months old?

I keep finding myself amazed at all the things you are doing--rolling all over the place, reaching out and grabbing things, putting everything in your mouth. I remember impatiently watching your sister when she was your age. Do something. When will you be mobile? When will you play with toys? When will you sleep? Those were some of the longest months of my life. These are just flying by. I keep saying You're already mobile? You are already playing with toys? You already sleep (mostly)? I suppose that I now have another child to distract me from your every developmental step.

Let's see... other than growing up way too fast (Did I mention that when they weighed you a month ago you were almost 20 pounds?), you are a delight. I am really enjoying you. You are hard not to enjoy. Your squeals and laughter and joy at seeing me or your sister or anyone really are fantastic. Really. You have your father's outlook on life: happy go lucky, always in good humor. I love that. You are everything that a baby should be. Even when you're screaming at me.

I love you, little boy.

Mama

Fun-ny

One of the joys of Ava's age is getting to finally talk with her. It's been fun to begin to hear about what happens in her little head--to see her imagination, her sense of humor.

Last night, I lay in bed beside her, and she told me about the daddy date she and Daniel had. She told me they ate chicken, built a castle out of mega blocks, and rode the bus. Of course, what they really did was go to Home Depot and Starbucks. I suppose we'll have to work on truthfulness soon.

Other conversations we've had lately:

Daniel: "When did you get so big?"
Ava: "Sleeping. I was sleeping."

and

Ava: "I got chips!"
Daniel: "And where did you get chips?"
Ava: "From Africa!"

last night at dinner:

Daniel: "Where's your heart, Ava?"
Ava (lifting up her shirt): "Right here in my belly."
Daniel (laughing): "I don't think I want to correct that right now."

and this morning:

Me (cutting a kiwi): "I think these are better than the last kiwis I got."
Ava (sing-songy voice): "Kiwi I GO-OTTT!"
Ava: "best kiwi EVER."

This kid cracks me up. And when she does, she always giggles to herself and asks, "Is it funny, Mama?" Yes my dear one. Yes, it's funny.

Two of my Favorites

Hey, it worked for us...

Missouri

Daniel's parents went to Alaska a few weeks ago, and very generously offered my family the use their house while they were gone (thanks Richard and Debbie!). Daniel and I met my parents and my brother's family in mid-Missouri for a few days of relaxing, swimming, playing on the farm, mini-golf, Central Dairy, outlet mall shopping, and more. We also got to catch up with Daniel's college roommate, Dan (whose wife and little girl I hadn't met), and Grandma Margie (who hadn't met Timmy).

Here are a few of the pictures. I'll link to my brother's later. They are better, I'm sure, and he took more, I'm sure. I don't take as many pictures with a baby in my arms, I've discovered!

Fresh Texas Peaches from Hamm's, cooked up with brown sugar, served over (gluten-free!) pancakes. Oh. my.

Redheads

State Capitol

My brother's family.

The cousins. Can you find my brother in this pic?

Timmy and Uncle Dustin.

Riding the train with Dad at the St. Louis Zoo.

Butterfly Pavilion

Sophie, Dan's daughter

Meeting Grandma Margie for the first time.

Snug as a bug.

Butterflies in Grandma Margie and Aunt Gail's garden (I like butterflies).

Walking on the Katy Trail with Grandpa Richard (welcome home!)

Among other things,

this stage is:

• something new every day.
• bright eyes and giggles in the morning.
  
• hearing Ava speak in full sentences and sing Jesus loves me.
• discovery
• crayons and sidewalk chalk.
• "Mama, play please!"
  
• poopiness soaking in every sink, crumbs on the floor, spit up stains on the hardwood, dirty dishes in the sink, piles of laundry, and not remembering the last time I cleaned the bathroom.
• running through the house with a naked (boy!) infant trying to find a diaper.
• not being able to get it all done.
• hiding things from my toddler (and myself)
• Ava mimicking everything I do
• poop. lots of poop.
• unbounded love as I watch my toddler sleep.
• scolding. spanking. loving. praying.
• crazy, protective, fierce love
• joy
• madness
• guilt
  
• often feeling like my chest is tied in knots.
• weakness. impatience.
• "MaMUH!"
  
• sometimes wanting to escape (or at least have a facebook break)
• trying not to care too much when she tears apart my mega block creations.
  
• baby giggles.
• cuddling and reading in the wee (or not so wee) hours.
• Ava screaming while I put Timmy down for a nap. Ava getting hurt while Timmy is screaming from hunger. Ava mischievously grinning as she tears something apart while I nurse.
• hanging onto Jesus (or rather, him hanging onto me)
  
• pacifier dependence (oh, well).
• collapsing on the sofa at 10 o'clock for a little old school Dick Van Dyke with my love.
• trying to learn to forget myself.
• Sanctification.

Guess Who

Take a stab. Who's who?

(so I figure you can tell, if only from the improvement in camera, but don't they look alike?)

Eighteen Pounds, Eleven Ounces

And all in the thighs.

And I know he'll probably kill me for this when he's older. Mwahahaha.