Halloween Party!

We had some of the kids' friends over for a pre-Halloweeen party.  I really could have died of cuteness.  That many toddlers in big fuzzy costumes was almost too much for me.  Daniel raked a huge pile of leaves in front of our climber and let the kids slide into them.  So much fun!  This might have to be an annual thing. :)

Cupcakes!

  Yum!

Love this little kitty!

 Playing in the leaves with Shaurya.  They had a blast.

 Pretty lil  Lia!

 Jack, the climbing machine.  :)

 Jack's little brother Calvin.  Cute little monkey.  :)

 The toddler version of a hayride.  :)

 Jack (aka-Bumblebee)

 Trying to catch the falling leaves.  

Tim surprised me by loving his costume.  He's in a "love it" or "hate it" kind of phase, and I was expecting "hate it."  When he came down from upstairs with it on, he pointed emphatically at himself as if to say "Aren't I the cutest little puppy dog ever?"  Yes.  Yes you are.

 Group shot.  As good as any group shot of toddlers ever is.  :)

Nana and Poppy's Visit

My parents were just here for nine days.  It was so good to see them and so good for the kids to have some Nana and Poppy time   We did lots of fun things with the kids--Goebbert's Pumpkin Farm, the Children's Museum, the park, a fall hike,  and lots of special treats.  In between, they entertained my fantasies of eradicating my "to do" list (ha!).  Loved having them. 

Goebbert's

Pony rides.  Unfortunately, Ava was too distracted by the haunted house adjacent to this to enjoy it.  :(

Hiking at Deer Grove Forest Preserve.

Took advantage of my Dad's presence to actually be in a picture.  :)

Motorcycle chick.  :)

"Playing chess" with Poppy at Oberweis Dairy.

She has him stumped!

Tee hee!

Hmmmm...

A balloon for the boy!

More Ballet

      Me:  Ava, did you have fun at ballet today?
      Ava: I didn't do all of the things.  I did some of the things.
      Me: Why didn't you do all of the things your teacher said?
      Ava (with a twinge of shame in her voice): Because I'm not a good listener.

A little heart breaking, but true. Observe:

Moraine Hills State Park

Daniel's parents were up for the weekend, so we headed to Moraine Hills State Park to do some fall hiking.  Ava stuck pretty close to grandpa, insisting that he carry her much of the way.  He was a good sport about it.  We spent quite a bit of time making use the of the playground there as well.  It's good to be outside. 

 

 

Can you tell these two are newlyweds?

  

 Fun with static electricity, part 2.  (Here for part 1). This slide had a static force field; we got a little zap from just getting within 4 or 5 inches of it.  

 

It may look like fall...

But it's an Indian Summer.

You are Here

It's been a particularly hard year for our little family.  I've mentioned it before.  Daniel spent 5 of 9 weeks in India this summer.  Even aside from the travel, work's been hard for him.  We have two little kids, and are about to have three.  And at times, my heart aches for the people we love best.  They are the same people who love us best.  I want to be able to see my family without driving for two days.  I want them to come over and play with our kids when they feel like it.  I want to do community with the many people that we love that are scattered all over this country.  I want to not feel so alone in all this.  We love Chicago, love our church, really love the life God has given us here, but some days it's hard to feel like so much of myself is somewhere else.

Then we decided to refinance.  Nothing big, but interest rates are low and we thought we could shorten our term for not much more money per month.  In the process, we had to have our house appraised, and our appraisal came in lower than what we paid for it.  A lot lower.  And the realization hit, that we are here for the long term.

It's not that I had an exit plan.  It's just hard sometimes.  It would be comforting to know that we had an option of moving.  But God hasn't given us that.  Through this appraisal, God has very gently said to me: You are here. 

One night last week I was having trouble going to sleep. Thoughts swirling, anxiety rising, sadness overwhelming me.  And since I'm pregnant, I got up, came downstairs, and got a snack.  I sat on the couch and wrestled with God. 

I'm tired.  I'm lonely.  I'm hurt.  I miss my family.  I miss so many people.  

And I felt God gently pressing back: You are here.

Even though Daniel's job is hard and sometimes takes him halfway across the world...

Even though you are lonely and hungry for community...

Even though your children are exhausting...

Even though you are beat up, tired, and hurt...   

I have you here, and I am enough.

Schedules

I'll just come on out and say it:  I hate schedules.

Every part of me bristles at the thought of doing the same thing at the same time each day.  Structure is not my forte.  If we are too scheduled, I feel boxed in.  I like flexibility in our day, so we have time to see people we love, go to the zoo on a whim, or run a last minute errand.

We do have a routine, but have historically held it loosely, because life happens.  There are doctor's appointments, play dates, church events, and all manner of things that keep my children and I from sticking to a schedule.  And mostly I think that's good for them.  It means that we can have dinner with people that stay up later than 7.  It means that they don't fall apart if we go to a good friend's birthday party.  It means that we get to be a part of a community group.  These things don't just benefit us, but them as well.  They are invited into the community of people we love just like we are.  Our friends love our kids, and it means a great deal to them that they have aunties and uncles here.

Not to say that this is the way everyone has to go.  Admittedly, our children are flexible.  Some of that is nature, some of it nurture, to be sure.  Not everyone can do what we do and have some level of sanity in their household.  Better or worse, though, it's how we roll.  Two type B personalities plus 5 years in Hawaii has made us pretty laid back.

But back to schedules.  I am discovering that we need one.  It's not that we need structure for structure's sake. What I'm finding is that without a schedule we get to the things that have to be done (eating, laundry, basic hygiene) but we don't get to the most important things (playing, crafts, walks, going to the park).  By the time we are ready to do something in the morning, it's practically lunchtime.  Then naps, and quiet time and our day is shot.  And if the kids don't get into bed by 8 or so, Daniel and I have very little time left to talk and connect before we have to go to bed. 

So we are working on getting up earlier, getting Daniel to work earlier, getting ready earlier, reading Bibles before the kids are awake, and having more time for fun in the morning.  We are working on getting Tim down for his nap earlier, getting the kids to bed earlier, getting chores done earlier, spending more time together, and going to bed earlier.  So that we can then get up earlier...

I think we will still hold it loosely.  We'll let our kids stay up too late on occasion so they can play with aunties and uncles.  We'll spend more time at the park than we should and push Tim's naptime a little too late.  Sometimes I'll sleep in because it's been a hard night, or because, hey, I'm pregnant.  It's just our way.  But I'm hoping this new routine will give us a loose structure to help us fit in the important things that we are missing.  Maybe it won't be so bad.

18 months

Dear Timothy,

The only way to adequately describe your personality at 18 months is unrestrained. Every ounce of emotion that is in you comes out. That means that you are either screaming inconsolably or laughing uncontrollably. Thankfully, you are happy most of the time. So mostly, you laugh. A laughter so infectious, whoever hears it can't help but join in.

You have been a mama's boy your whole life. Even now, you do not like sharing me with Daddy or with your sister. Often when I give him a hug while holding you or try to get you to share my lap with her, you will push them away and make an awful pouty face. Even so, since you started walking, you are becoming more independent. You have realized how much fun it is to explore and I have almost lost you at church, at the playground, and even at the children's museum.

You are very verbal, but you don't say many words. I know that you understand almost everything I say, but with this, as with walking, I think you'll have to see the necessity of talking before your language takes off. Right now, you are pretty effective at communicating what you want with squeals, screams, and your pointer finger. Why change what works, right? You do say dog, duck, dad (which all pretty much sound like "da!"), quack (qua!), cat ("ca!"), water ("wa, wa!"), graham cracker, grapes ("ga!"), along with some others. Are you noticing a theme? Mama is the only word I can think of in which you pronounce all the syllables, and it comes out like: "MAMAMAMAMAMAMA!" Touched.

You really are a sweet little boy, though. You are free with kisses, though you tease me with hugs now. When I ask for one you just giggle and give me a mischievous smile. You love to sit in my lap and read, especially if the book is about trucks or horses. You look up at me, point, and squeal, as if to say "LOOK at this mom! Isn't the coolest thing ever!!?" In fact, you tend to think everything is the coolest thing ever. You're like your daddy in that way.

You enjoy lots of things. Your favorite game right now is to run away from me. It's especially fun if you're naked. You also still think peekaboo is hilarious, and you love to dance. It's really cute. So are you.

Really, if we're honest, you border on pretty. Your big, deep brown eyes and long dark eyelashes, your little dimples, your sweet little grin, your perfect hair. Just to look at you, my heart melts a little. I pray that you don't do that to any girls any time soon.

I love this age. You're still sweet and cuddly, your personality is burgeoning, you're not really defiant yet, you're learning to play creatively. You are such a joy, little man. In fact, maybe that's the best way to describe you. Joy personified.

Love you, little man.

Mama

My Dear Ones,

When you were newborns and it was all diapers and spit up and naptimes and sleepless nights, the task of shaping you seemed so very theoretical.  Those weary days of sacrifice were kingdom labor, to be sure.  God used them to begin beating the selfishness out of me and to show you, however small and unaware you were, that you were loved.

To struggle to show you the kind of love that God has shown me is, I believe, one of the primary tasks of parenting.  I hope that as I labor to show you love and grace whether you're wonderful or stubborn, hilarious or disrespectful, sweet or exasperating, perceptive or just plain foolish, that your young hearts will begin to grasp what it is to be loved by your Savior. 

But as you have grown, it has become clear that what I have to teach you is equally as important.  Oh, sweet ones, we have so much to learn together.  I will most likely teach you to read, to tie your shoes, to turn off the lights when you leave a room (though that last one might be difficult, as I have yet to master it myself).  I want you to be full of character, full of scripture, full of wisdom.  But of all the lessons I have to teach you, my dears, there are three things I want you to remember.  I hope that all of the other spiritual instruction will find its root in these three things.
  
I pray, my sweet children, that you would know that God is glorious.  I believe that you're made to discover this.  You naturally see wonder in green shoots pushing up through the ground in the spring, the blooming of daisies in the summer, the brilliant colors of autumn, the falling of the first snow as the year comes to a close. And your response to every wonder is "Why? Why, Mommy?" I believe that God wired you to ask this question. It's as if you're begging, Mommy, will you point me to God? Will you open this beautiful world to me? Will you explain to me the wonders of my Creator?  I pray that the Lord would grant me the eyes to see that beauty myself and also the patience to answer your questions with, "Yes little one, your God is wonderful, beautiful and creative."

But not only that, I want you to know that God is good, He loves you, and He proved it by sending Jesus to rescue you.  It's good news, sweet ones.  The great and marvelous Creator loves you, makes you new, cloaks you in his grace.  And it's because of Jesus.  I pray every night that our Lord would draw you into this truth, show you its beauty, and so ingrain it on your heart that it becomes a part of you.  I pray that more and more, I hear your little voices repeating this great truth as you did, Ava, a few nights ago.  "God loves me even when I do bad things."  Yes, little ones, if you are His children, and I pray you will be, your very lives will be covered by his grace.

Lastly, I want you to see that you need Him. As sweet as you are, as hard as you try, you will always, always, need Jesus. You cannot be perfect, but He already has been for you.  He gives you what you could never earn--forgiveness and favor bought by the blood of Jesus.  It doesn't mean that you are free to do whatever you want, my loves.  That grace will set you free to new life and will give you a new heart.  He will guide you to change and grow by his Spirit, but this process is lifelong, and you will always need his grace.  I pray that as we discipline you, you will see not that you need to be better, but that you need Him. 

It's a little scary, thinking that someone who grasps these truths as imperfectly as I do could be entrusted with imparting them to you.  But I believe that God ordains imperfect vessels to accomplish his purposes in the lives of ones so precious as you.  So we'll learn his grace together when you fight with one another, when I lose my patience, when this house is less than a vision of peace.  He will remind us of His gospel, and we will preach it to each other.  May we be faithful.

I love you, dear ones.  More than you can know.

Mama

Ballet

Today was Ava's first ballet class.  She's been looking forward to it for several months.  I honestly don't know which one of us was more excited.  I couldn't wait to see her dancing and twirling and acting every inch the little girl. If one could die of cuteness...

She was having so much fun, not least because she is taking the class with her buddy Ava Lee.  Daniel and I got to sit in and watch, and noticed that Ava didn't seem to keen on doing what the teacher said.  At times she seemed unsure; at one point she took off and began to dance her own little dance. 

On the way to lunch after class, Daniel gently reminded her, "You need to do what the teacher tells you to do, Ava." And Ava sweetly replied, "I did what the music told me to do! What the music told me to do!"

Have I mentioned lately how much I love that girl?

A short video:

The Ava's, looking as cute as ever.  :)

 Class

Hamming for the camera after class: