My second least favorite thing these days is grocery shopping. I say second least favorite (which almost certainly the least eloquent way I could say that) because my first least favorite thing is not having any food to eat. I mean, besides what's in the half-rusted unlabeled can in the back of my pantry and the bread that taunts me at every turn.
We were down to bare bones, so I had to go to the grocery store. It's hard to do with a little one. I can't imagine how you do it with three, Corrie. Hopefully they at least help you get the bigger items in the cart.
My friend very graciously lent me her Baby Bjorn to try out for the day. I untangled it, put Ava in, got a cart, and went in to Safeway. Below is an account of my trip. I share it not because I want sympathy. I'm over it now that my headache is gone. I share it mostly for your amusement. Here is how you go shopping with a little one:
Aisle 1: Realize baby and grocery cart are drifting to the right. Grunt and grit teeth in an effort to get it to travel straight.
Aisle 2: Turn baby to face out, and wear self out throwing 15 cans of beans in the cart.
Aisle 3: Realize baby wouldn't flop around so much if her arms went through the holes in side of Bjorn. Put arms through the holes. Clean Safeway out of canned tomato products. Lean down, and fling 20 pound bag of rice into the bottom of the cart. Grunt some more.
Aisle 4: After baby's chin hits her chest, decide to turn her around, yet again. Try unsuccessfully to get Bjorn to open. Try to pull her vertically out of it. Sit on the floor. Heave ho. She's out. Paci rests on the floor. Sigh.
Circle aimlessly through the rest of the store, trying to bounce baby enough to distract her.
Checkout: Stand in line, rubbing temples to soothe headache. Look pathetic. Sing God's praises as clerk comes to take you to his newly open lane. Realize that he has taken you to the "express lane," and you most definitely don't have an express basket. Load 45 cans of vegetables on to conveyor belt as the people behind you in line with only a case of beer look on with annoyance. Say "thank you for having mercy on me" to the kind checker, both to show your appreciation and to let the people behind you know this wasn't your idea. Gladly spend a small fortune because shopping at Safeway is just so much easier than shopping at Daiei, and the people that work there seem not to resent your presence in their store. Enthusiastically accept help out to the car. Drive home and collapse.
2 comments:
So I read this article today about how the Baby Bjorn is bad for babies' spinal development, and now I'm all freaked out about using it. But I did figure out that I could put Isaiah front-facing in the sling. Have you tried it?
How I grocery shop with three: bribes (popcorn chicken), and "help". If I give the girls assignments (i.e. Addy, you watch for the peanut butter; Aubrie, you pick out three good apples), they do better. But sometimes, it's hopeless and I just have to line them up for spankings when we get home. :( Isaiah's the easy one in this regard--he's always enjoyed running errands, and is generally pretty good about the whole thing.
Yeah, I really think Mena is the easy one when it comes to grocery shopping, it's seven year old Cassandra that makes it a little bit more of a challenge - all of the sugar is a little bit too much of a temptation for her. :)
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